Being Mum in front of the camera.

23. Have (updated) professional family photos done (Completed September 21, 2014)

This was a goal I was both excited about ticking off, but also dreading.

I was one of those mothers.  I was going to lose weight and have photos!  Except instead of losing weight, the number on the scale was going up.  And I realised that if I waited until I lost weight, I was never going to have photos of my family that included me.  Because despite the fact that I take photos of families for a living, and despite the fact I am constantly telling mothers to get in to photos with their children - I did not practice what I would preach.  

I cried when I went shopping for an outfit.  I came home empty handed and frustrated and in a very self depreciating mood.  Ty hid from me.  It wasn't a fun experience for either of us!  I went back without him.  I went back in to one shop, decided I wanted something in navy blue, and set myself the task.  I didn't look for long.  The first thing that looked ok was what I got.  Turns out, I rather love that dress.  It's pretty, it's comfortable, and it doesn't cling to my fat rolls.  Fingers crossed, Gina.  Hope for the best.  

Still, right up until I actually got there?  I wanted to cancel that shoot.  I made up many excuses in my head as to how I could put it off until I lost that weight.  For the record, if I did, I'd still be waiting.  And our photographer was not going to let me out of it - she knew exactly where my head was.

Mandii from Xanthe Photography is my kind of person - fun, silly, natural.  We've developed a friendship through our love of photography, and I am so grateful to have her in my life.  She was having none of my self-hate.  And despite not loving myself very much, I trusted her.  And she was great.  And she is amazing at what she does.  And I am so in love with our family photos.  We now have 2 beautiful canvases hung in our lounge room - a family portrait, and one of our 3 gorgeous kids with their favourite soft toys.  I am soon to create a photobook displaying my 60 favourite images.  And I 100% LOVE showing our photos to people, and absolutely do not care what people think of me in these photos.  Because they are so beautiful, and they are so us.  And they make me SO happy.

And here's the thing.  I surprised myself.  The first image that Mandii gave us a sneak peak of made me cry.  Me and my baby boy.  Not "OMG look at how awful I look", but "OMG I finally have a stunning photo of me and my Memphis".  And it is.  And I actually kinda love myself in it.  I look at it and think wow, he's so tiny yet suddenly not so tiny.  Look at his cheeky grin and those little fingers.  Those beautiful big eyes.  And look at me.  It's nothing to do with the fact that I  actually don't look that fat and everything to do with the fact that I look HAPPY.  That's me and my baby.  (The colour version is amazeballs, by the way... I've attached it further down!)

The first image I saw from our shoot.

All of our images captured our family exactly as we are.  Silly, cheeky, fun.  The kids had fun, and were able to explore.  Ty and I were comfortable.  The end result is a beautiful gallery full of happy photos.  So many people have made comment on how happy we look.  How much fun we must have had.  And fancy that, not one person has commented about my weight.  I've had nothing but positive comments.  And sure I still need to lose weight, but I needed to have these photos more.  It wasn't really about waiting for me to lose weight, in the end.  It was capturing my family as it is now.  Young, fun, silly.  Memphis just before he turns 1, Zavian as his cheeky 3 year old self, and Lexi, our 5 year old school girl.  Still in those stages of innocence that seem to evaporate far too early these days.

I needed these photos as much for the kids as I did for me.  They'll look back on photos I myself have taken, sure, and there are many many many images of the 3 of them and also a lot of them with their Daddy.  But images with Mummy are sparse because I hide behind the camera.  Ty rarely takes photos of me with the kids and a lot of the photos of me with them are selfies from a camera phone.  So now they have beautiful images.  Images that they will look back on and say hey look, there's my mum.  I can pretty much guarantee they'll be looking at our family and how happy we are.  And that they won't give a rats ass about the size of my body.

Go and have photos taken with your children.  Every child needs a beautiful photo with their mum.  But more than that, every mum needs one with her children.  Lucky for me, I now have quite a few.

A little bit of Z-Man

How is May here?
Really, I just wanted to share a little bit of Zavian.  The kid, he's nutty, haha.
In reality though, he's going through a lot with some issues with him boy-bits, doctors and hospital trips.  We are just waiting until we can see a paediatric surgeon so that we can get something done about it.  Poor kid suffers from a condition called phimosis.  Not pleasant.

Other than that though, he is a right little ray of sunshine come daylight hours.  He is bright and energetic, happy-go-lucky, cheeky and inquisitive.  He's been at his new kindy a couple of months now and adores it.  He's made some lovely friends and has great teachers.  

Night times come our little issues - since returning from our Melbourne trip he has developed a fear of having his door closed and lights off.  He doesn't want to sleep in his bed and we've had a week of him continuously coming in to our room.  I'm not fighting it much though, as Memphis sleeps in with us and it's hard to keep him asleep when Zavian is screaming down the house.  We are going to look into changing his room around, and we're going to get him a night light.  We've been lucky with him in the past, never had any issues like this so we are hoping it is just temporary!

So there's a little update on the Z-man!  My big boy rocks <3

Zavian's Super Hero Party

I like to make my life difficult.
A week prior to Zavian's birthday party it was just a simple get together in the park - wear a costume if you'd like!  Then I got on Pinterest and ruined myself.  Some of my plans couldn't be executed due to a ridiculous amount of wind, and well... the photobooth became a very small one utilising a piece of fixed playground fencing because the backdrop stand could not withstand the wind... BUT... it was great.

Zavian had a great time, enjoyed the company of many friends and family member who shared in his day.  He really was spoiled rotten.  Regardless, what can I say that pictures won't?

Mandy works her magic! Check her out: https://www.facebook.com/FaceToFacePaintingByMandy?ref=ts&fref=ts

I made cookies.  Never again!

Lollipops with capes?  Naturally!

AMAZING Super Hero Cake - Check out Chrissy at Bakestar

Chilling at the Photo Booth!

Daddy Lantern and Lexi!

Super Girl!

Candle time!  Guess who forgot a lighter AND a knife!

Happy boy!

Maia and Zavian being adorable!!

Super Baby slept the whole time!

Super Hero parents!?

He ended the party by stealing my Wonder Woman cape and flying off!

Very spoiled little boy! <3  Thanks everyone!

I also made this - it's now on the wall in his bedroom!

Zavian - 28 February

28 February - Best buddies

You and your sister are best friends. You love each other endlessly and you have struggled with her absence now that she has started school. In the afternoons you do everything you can to make sure she isn't out of your sight - today you snuggled up under a doona on the couch and watched movies.

Zavian - 27 February

Zavian - First day of daycare

You started your first day at your new daycare today - AND LOVED IT! You didn't want to come home, you had such a wonderful time. You bought me home a lovely painting and a page with some photos telling me about your first day. It was lovely to pick you up and find you so happy. You were applying your own suncream - something you asked them 5 times over the day to do! Can't say you aren't sunsafe!

Zavian - 26 February

26 February - Family fun

We had a lovely visit with your Great Aunty and Uncle (that you call Oma and Grandad). We took Aunty Tammy and Tiana over and you two little cheeky monkeys had fun mucking around with Grandad on the back of the chair! I think the big kid in Uncle George enjoyed it, too! 

Zavian - 25 February

25 February - Birthday Buddies!

Tonight we had dinner and cake with Nana Marie, Poppy Ken and Grandma Helen. Here you are with Grandma Helen, you were both born on 23rd of February - 80 years apart! You love visiting Grandma Helen and today was extra special because you go to share cake!

Zavian - 24 February

24 February - Turbo Head!

After such a busy weekend it has been a home day. We've spent the day playing with some of your new toys. You decided your little Turbo car needed to drive on your head so he could make you super-fast as well!

Zavian - 23 February

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ZAVIAN!!!

23 February - 3 Today!

HAPPY 3RD BIRTHDAY handsome boy!
Today you are 3! We went to Movieworld and you spent the day on rides and meeting cool characters. You had a "Batman Day", wearing your shirt and new sunnies and Joycee bought you a Batman hat. When we were there you got a sticker that said "Birthday Star" on it and you got lots of special attention from the characters because it was your special day. 
I can't believe you are 3 already! You are growing up to be a cheeky, intelligent and energetic lil guy!

Zavian - 22 February

22 February - A Super Hero Party for a Super (Spider) Boy!

We had your birthday party today! Your cake was a wonderful Super Hero cake featuring Superman, Batman, Ironman and Spiderman. You have all of those costumes so we figured you could choose which - you chose to wear Spiderman. Mandy came along and painted your face so you didn't have to wear the mask that you disliked so much! You had such a great time, so many wonderful friends and family made it out to the park to celebrate with you. You had a cute little photo booth, lots of yummy food and a great playground to enjoy. You were SO spoiled by everyone. It was a great day and a fabulous way to celebrate!

Zavian - 21 February

21 February - such a doting big brother

You are such a wonderful big brother, you really dote on your baby brother. You love to help me with Memphis by getting him wipes and nappies and even trying to change his bottom for me! You climb up on the change table when he's on it so you can talk to him and make him smile. Sometimes you want to hold him so you can give him big squishy cuddles. I bet you grow up to be such buddies <3

Zavian - 20 February

20 February - Comfort zone

You were so grumpy today that you cried every time I pulled the camera out to take your photo so I decided not to bother until you went to sleep  I snuck in there and you were wrapped around your teddy bear, hugging him tight. He is you best bud, your comforter, your favourite toy. Aunty Laura bought him for you as a baby shower gift and of all of your (seemingly) millions of toys HE is the one you love the most. Pretty good pick. He's starting to show the signs of a well-loved bear, last month he lost an eye! Poor one-eyed Teddy!

Zavian - 19 February

19 February - Star in the making

In this picture are 2 of your greatest loves. Your footy, and your gumboots. You would happily have both in your possession at all times... if I let you. Yes, Mummy is a party pooper! We some time kicking around the footy this afternoon. You have quite a good kick on you! Lexi started Auskick and you are broken hearted that you can't go with her. Your time will come, and I think we have got a little footy star on our hands. Considering the fact you were born with Erbs Palsy, you can't imagine the relief we all feel when it comes to this.

Zavian - 18 February

18 February - Spiderboy

You have a Super Hero birthday coming up and after asking you what costume you wanted, you decided on Spiderman. Today we went and picked your costume out, it looks so cool!!! You make a pretty spunky Spiderboy! You thought you might go and put it on and test it out! Have to make sure it is good to go for your party!!

Zavian - 17 February

17 February - Go The Bombers!!

What could be better than loving a sport with your Daddy? Much to his delight you have taken on his love of the Bombers and tonight he took you to see them play against the Gold Coast Suns. Where you unfortunately lost. However that is ok! You had such a great time, you loved dressing up in your Bombers shirt and watching the game. Afterwards you went on the field and kicked around the new footy that Daddy bought you and met (and had a picture with Brent Stanton. You came home and were so excited to tell me about it and show me your new footy... which you then took to bed with you!!

Zavian - 16 February

16 February - favourite book

You have a favourite book. It has been your favourite book since you were a baby.
Where's Spot?
You know this book inside out, you read it every single day. Once upon a time I would cuddle up with you and read the book to you. These days though, you will bring it out and read me the story. You know every animal that is hiding under the flaps in the book. My favourite is when you say "hippopotamus!" So so cute. I love that you love books, and that your favourite is a classic favourite like Spot, a book that I loved when I was little!

Zavian - 15 February

15 February - Craft time

Today we pulled out your Spiderman art box and drew some pictures. You had your 3 year old health check and you are developing and growing well. You are intelligent and well spoken, you are meeting all of your milestones. The only thing we really have to work on is your pencil grip. This is hard though, as you really aren't that interested in drawing! You were easily side tracked by the stamp kit you discovered in the box, instead! You'll get there in your own time <3

Zavian - 14 February

14 February - My Sweet Valentine

So, I wonder how many people had a Valentine as cute as you? I bet not many. We pulled down the chalk board and I told you we were going to make a sign for someone we love. I asked who you wanted to write that you loved, and you said Mummy! Melt my heart kiddo, you are such a little Mama's boy!